Weapons Test Report
Teran Enforcer Amellee
Experimental Tada-O Level 8 BM-X11 "Most Joyous Death" Maser Beam.I was recently asked to attend a demonstration of a new experimental beam at the Tada-O weapons proving ground. This new weapon was described to me as "the mosy shiny" beam they have ever produced. I can only guess what that was supposed to mean. The beam apparently is a result of recent analysis that Tada-O scientists performed on a manfunctioning microwave oven in their snack room. The beam itself is compact and box-like in shape, and is designed to fit in standard weapons mounts. The scientist explained to me the the beam can "explode a target with most joyful bursts of death". I was allowed to see several live fire demonstrations using standard target drones. The beam was observed to operate correctly approximately 100%
of the time. The beam itself emitted an unusual purple light that surrounded the entire beam and portions of the pilot area of the test ship. I would like to note at this point that I was assured that this presented no risk to the pilot, but after the demonstration I was not allowed to see the pilot directly. From what little I could see of the pilot in the distance, the pilot seemed to be surrounded by a similar purple light. When functioning, the beam did seem to demonstrate superior destructive power and was able cycle at a quite impressive rapid rate. It should also be noted that for the purpose of this demonstration, the test ship was fitted with 4 parallel level 8 Nova reactors. I was assured that this was not an indication of an unusual power requirement. I was also told that the beam would be immediately available once Tada-O secured a supply of an exotic organic crystal used in a key component.
Conclusion: The Level 8 BM-X111 "Most Joyous Death" Maser Beam was impressive although I would not personally consider using one until the reliability issues and the purple glow it imparts on the ship's crew where addressed. I am sure Tada-O will find ways to resolve these remaining issues and allow us to all enjoy "extremely shiny joyful bursts of death" (hopefully the targets).
Personal Note: Tada-O presented me with a gift for attending the demonstration. A unique synthetic life form they described as a "Happy Silly Ball". They said it was a ball filled with playful joy, but to be careful not to taunt it. The item in question managed to escape its enclosure almost immediately upon return to my ship and is now eluding capture in my hold. I welcome any input from individuals with direct experience with "Happy Silly Ball". It's extremely hard to catch and can become quite threatening when cornered!